In 2013, Djenk did his coming out in his country of birth, Northern Macedonia. First for his family, then on television. The consequence? He was rejected and faced violence. There was nothing left for him but to leave Northern Macedonia. And go to a country where LGBTQ-people are protected and are free. He tells us his story.
« I came out when I was eighteen. First for my parents and my sister. They didn’t react very positively. I was no longer allowed to study and had to go to work. They tried to punish me for my sexuality. My mother even made me go to therapy. She took me to a witch who would heal me with tarot cards. And I had to drink moon water for seven days and watch pornography that only featured women. Ridiculous ».
« They tried to punish me for my sexuality. My mother even made me go to therapy »
« Three months after I told my family, I came out on television. From then on, life in Macedonia became unsafe for me. People recognized me on the street, they harassed me. Sometimes they even attacked me. I was with the police almost every two days to make a complaint. But the police did nothing about it. When I came out, there was no anti-discrimination law for gay people. And it was also impossible to file a complaint against violence, because the police knew the reason for the violence. Namely, my orientation. So they covered it up ».
« When I came out, there was no anti-discrimination law for gay people »
Between 2008 and 2010, there was a law protecting LGBTQ people in the area ofemployment. But in January 2010, the Macedonian government removed sexual orientation from the anti-discrimination law. The European Parliament had protested this and the European Commission reminded the Eastern Republic that membership of the EU was dependent on anti-discrimination laws, including sexual orientation. But they were only recommendations for a ban on discrimination on the basis of gender identity. It was not until March 2019 that sexual orientation and gender identity were included in the Discrimination Act.
« If something does not exist in law, you are non-existent »
« If something does not exist in law, you are non-existent. And I also felt nonexistent at that moment. I was abandoned by my own country. That made me very angry. But that also has a big impact on my life in Belgium. I come from an environment where everyone refused me. My country, my family, my friends. That was traumatic. Belgium was a second chance for me. A new beginning. I didn’t want to be rejected again, so I did everything I could to integrate as quickly and as well as possible. I wanted to feel accepted. And that has helped me come to terms with my past ».
« Belgium was a second chance for me. A new beginning. I didn’t want to be rejected again »
« When I first arrived in Belgium, I immediately started the asylum procedure. I stayed in an asylum center in Wallonia, but I didn’t feel comfortable there. I had to crawl back into the closet. Talking about your sexuality was not a good idea. It was unsafe for LGBTQ in the center. So after staying there for a few months, I moved to Brussels. Once in Brussels, I could be myself again. What’s more, I went looking for myself. And to what I wanted to do with my life in Belgium. I decided to study Dutch ».
« I wanted to prove the contrary, that I could. And if I look at where I am now, I think I succeeded »
« In September 2017 I started the bachelor’s degree in Secondary Education, and three years later I obtained my diploma. I had to work hard for it. And there were always fellow students who criticized because Dutch was not my native language. And that, according to them, this lowers the quality of education. But that criticism only motivated me even more. I wanted to prove the contrary, that I could. And if I look at where I am now, I think I succeeded.
« There are students in my class who are gay, lesbian or trans themselves. I am happy to be an example for them »
I now teach Dutch to non-native speakers, at the same school I went to when I first moved to Brussels. Since I’ve been teaching, no one has commented on my sexuality. There are students in my class who are gay, lesbian or trans themselves. I am happy to be an example for them ».
